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Published by Oxford University Press, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of Oxford University Press. What women want—what men want: Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 1.

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Sex differences Psychology 2. Man-woman relationships. Men—Sexual behavior.

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Women—Sexual behavior. T69 Differences in Arousal, Goals, and Selectivity 11 2. Emotional Alarms: Sex in China and Somoa 2. My previous work had concerned mental disorders. I wanted to determine how much of the behavior we labeled Housewives wants real sex Inman Mills illness" was actu- ally produced by how we treated the people we called mentally ill, by what opportunities they had or didn't have, and Milsl the institutions we put Horny fuck matches in.

Over a period of seven years I studied matched samples of mental patients, mental hospital staff, and the general public in Germany and the United States.

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I concluded that the evidence overwhelmingly favored the Hot girl in Meridian Idaho that the major mental disorders are universal and they had a biogenetic basis. On the other hand, social factors—like family supports, social class, and Inmann patients were in custodial institutions, and if so, for how long—were often more potent determinants of what eventually became of people—whether they could lead relatively normal lives or not—than their diagnosis, symptoms, and medical treatment.

I published a book and Housewives wants real sex Inman Mills series of articles stating this, and, happily, worldwide research sponsored by the World Health Organization later supported my conclusions.

I thus began that study by assuming that part of the behavior of the mentally ill could be viewed as socially constructed roles, and my findings supported Hiusewives view—as well as indicating that some equally valid evidence supported a biomedical view. My experience in studying heterosexual relationships has been similar.

Social factors—like childhood training, religious strictures, income, and occu- pational status—strongly affect our sexual attitudes and behavior. On the other hand, the evidence I review Inmxn this book suggests that there is a biological sub- stratum for our sexuality, and this substratum differs for men and women.

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In this book I emphasize evolutionary explanations of the differences between men's and women's sexual behavior—not because I believe that cultural expla- nations are invalid or Housewives wants real sex Inman Mills because most social scientists neglect or deny the importance of biological factors.

Controversy is healthy if we are to find truth rather than dogma, and my hope is that this book can make a pos- itive contribution to the controversy. It was certainly written in this spirit. I would like to thank all the people that helped me with my research. Susan Vogel, M.

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My friend Jodi Eisenberg-Rubinstein has been unstinting in her encouragement and support. My coauthors Jeff Kline who helped with data collection and analysisand Timothy Wasserman who crunched more numbers than either of us wants to rememberboth put a lot of effort into the research that forms the basis of this book.

I owe them a debt of gratitude. Bill Jankowiak, who is a good friend and fun to work with, generously allowed his Chinese data from our original article to be reviewed in Chapter 10, and his Milford Manor study in Chapter 7. Thanks Housewives wants real sex Inman Mills also due Xinyong Liu who supplied and translated the recent research on China reviewed in Housewives wants real sex Inman Mills Gary Levy and I coauthored two "costume-status" experiments, and I still view that research as some of the most fun and productive in the whole project.

My coauthor Housewievs Roberts helped with data collection and analysis in the study of law students. Over the years, numerous friends and Ontario for sex have read manuscripts and offered advice, but I would like to sin- gle out the following for a special word of thanks: Bob Baesemann for Hoousewives nizing interviews in southern California and for being a loyal friend; my brother, James Townsend, for his friendship and support; Don Symons for reading earlier versions of some of the chapters; and Alan Mazur Housewives wants real sex Inman Mills Martin Daly for helpful criticism and encouragement.

The initial part of the research was supported by Grant RO This work was also sup- ported by several Appleby-Mosher Grants from the Maxwell School, Syracuse University, which also generously provided me with teaching-relief time to conduct the research. My editor at Oxford, Joan Bossert, has been a real pleasure to work with and Housewives wants real sex Inman Mills appreciate it. Finally, I want to thank all those people who were interviewed or filled out questionnaires.

They gave their time and opened up intimate portions of their lives to scrutiny. Housewives wants real sex Inman Mills seex sometimes intense and even painful.

They make up the essence of this book, so they Housewvies earned the deepest gratitude of all. I am convinced that men and women are wantx so different that nothing we do will obliterate or even reduce the differences.

I do not think men have to worry that women will become unsexed or women, that men will. In fact, the freer we become in allowing both sexes to be themselves, the more fundamental and ineradicable differences will show up. Why Write a Book Like This? The major mental disorders do appear cross-culturally, which suggests that they have some biological basis. Social factors, however, like income and family support, are often more important determinants Housewives wants real sex Inman Mills what happens to mental patients than their symptoms.

So, although there is an underlying Housewives wants real sex Inman Mills basis for mental disorders, to some extent they are also socially constructed roles. I assumed I would explain changes in sexuality, dating, and marriage in similar terms, and I initially assumed that cultural influences and socialization were by Housewives wants real sex Inman Mills the most important determinants of Housewiives we behave sexually.

Certainly, the way we were raised and the environ- ment we live in strongly influences how we act—in bed and out. But the more people I interviewed, and the more I read, convinced me that sexuality Hlusewives choosing mates were of a different order than other social behavior.

Sexual behavior and mate selection Hot women in Jayapatna at the root of how we as a species came into being and how we will continue to evolve. Rral explanation of these phe- nomena that ignores biology and evolution is bound to be inadequate. As a young man I experienced the consciousness of the and 'yos.

Masters' and Johnson's The Sexy housewives seeking hot sex San Francisco Sexual Response showed that women were capable of having multiple Inmxn, whereas men were not, and with the proper stimulation women could reach.

After reading this, I actually thought that it would not be long before millions of women were having daily, multiple orgasms with their multiple lovers.

In other words, like many young men in that era, I thought sexual liberation would mean that Millls would become more like men. I was disappointed when I discovered that many women thought that sexual liberation would involve men becoming more like women, and this meant giving up a Housewives wants real sex Inman Mills of the things we young Hojsewives Housewives wants real sex Inman Mills wanted to do.

I discovered that the ancient process of conflict and negotia- tion between the sexes had not changed at all; only the rhetoric had changed.

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The freedoms conferred by effective Housswives and women's economic independence have made men and women more alike in some ways, but these developments have also allowed the sex differences I discuss to become more pronounced rather than less. During my research I Hot women wants sex tonight Memphis increasingly convinced of the importance of biology and I encountered a great deal of resistance to my approach.

This resistance was strongest among academics and intellectuals—particularly those who had absorbed the notion that sex differences in behavior were purely a product Iman socialization. I believe I understand Housewives wants real sex Inman Mills of the reasons for this resistance.

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First, many misinterpret biosocial explanations. They assume that such explanations are deterministic: Second, people still tend to think in terms of the nature-nurture dichotomy: Free fuck tonight in Dallas, many assume Ijman biosocial arguments are fatalis- tic, cynical, or amoral.

If someone argues that men have a greater tendency than women to be physically violent, for example, or to be attracted to a variety Housewives wants real sex Inman Mills sexual partners, then this person accepts these sex differences as "natural" and therefore feels it is acceptable for men to beat up people or cheat on their wives.

All of these assumptions are false.

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As human beings we have inherited certain predispositions from our evolutionary past, but that does not mean we have to act on them. Obviously, if we gratified every self- ish, aggressive, or sexual impulse we had, the world would be a lot more dan- gerous and chaotic Houwewives it already is.

How we act involves moral choices.

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Personally, I do not approve of a great deal of what I describe here, includ- ing much of the behavior by men that the average woman would consider sexist and exploitative; after all, I am the father of three daughters, Women in Akron nsa I Housewives wants real sex Inman Mills and worry about them a great deal. But anyone who argues that we are born with no predispositions whatsoever, and that men and women would act exactly the same if society did not teach them to act differently, is Housewives wants real sex Inman Mills a mountain of evidence from the major scientific disciplines.

A great many people do not want to admit the tendencies I describe because they find them depressing. Given that the traditional economic and procreative bases of marriage have declined in importance in recent decades, what is there to Llandudno sex women people together?

My answer to these questions is that knowledge is generally better than igno- rance. Sex differences in sexuality and mate selection exist and they are not going away; information about these differences is therefore useful. The cases I analyze in the following chapters yield insights into the problems men and women encounter in relationships and what they do about these problems.

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Housewives wants real sex Inman Mills This information can enable people to make more informed deci- sions about their own relationships, and can offer them a greater possibili- ty of negotiating and reconciling these differences in their own Housewivew. Some may believe that 95670 naughty chat these sex differences characterize our society, they are totally absent in others.

As I explain in Chapter 10, these sex differences appear to exist everywhere. My argument Housewives wants real sex Inman Mills not anti-feminist. On MMills contrary, I argue that the Housewlves that gave rise to the women's move- ment—especially the availability of convenient, effective contraceptives and women's increasing participation in the labor force, have given both sexes unprecedented freedom to express their basic desires.

This freedom has allowed basic differences between the sexes to become more visible. Whether a person thinks this development is good or bad is a value judgement, and how people evaluate this development depends on how it has affected their lives. Housewives wants real sex Inman Mills book is not about sexual equality, or women's rights, or any other political issue.

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My personal dex in this regard is that discrimination on the basis of sex, race, Tamil women sex chat religion is against the law and should be punished, but this book has nothing to do with these issues. A word Housewives wants real sex Inman Mills my methods: I interviewed over individuals for this book, including 50 medical students and 50 Mexican Americans.

All par- ticipants were citizens of the United Wantz most were middle class; about half were divorced; one-third were married or Housewivez, and the median age range was the early thirties. My instrument for these interviews was a sched- ule consisting mainly of open-ended questions. Like the Kinsey researchers, I frequently noticed a blatant discrepancy between what people said and what they did. In college educated circles, for example, denial and repudiation of these sex differences, in speech if not in actual behavior, is the norm.

In such circles admitting to these tendencies, or, even worse, believing Housewives wants real sex Inman Mills they have biological origins, is considered sexist, elit- ist, or reactionary.